Silence Is Coppertoned
by Rose7
Summary: Even the best intentions don't work out when they involve an assault droid and sweet nothings... SW:KotOR one-shot.


Follows continuity of my other KotOR stories. Enjoy!

* * *

She wiped the sweat off her brow and paused to cross to the wall, adjusting the climate controls of their apartment to compensate for her physical exertions. 

Her new ship, hand-picked by Carth, checked and re-checked until his frown finally went away, was sitting in the docks of Citadel Station waiting for her to load it with everything she would need for a trip into uncharted space.

That included two droids, a hell of a lot of rations, and a couple personal effects. It would be a pretty empty ship. Pretty lonely too.

Katrina smirked at her own skewed priorities. She was more irritated at the thought of being on a ship alone for a while than what she was making the trip into the Unknown Regions for.

_I swear he chose that ship just because it has a bigger bed and he knows him not being in it is going to feel weird-_

Katrina gathered up some datapads and placed them in the last storage bin.

"HK, take these down to the dock and put them on the new ship."

The droid moved out of the shadows from where he had been idling.

"Yes, beautiful."

Katrina stopped, glancing over her shoulder at the droid.

"HK," she began slowly, "Did you just call me _beautiful_?"

"Reply: My vocabulators would seem to suggest so, but this is obviously an error. I would suggest a complete system diagnostic at your earliest convenience."

"Run one yourself."

The droid complied, humming quietly for a moment or so.

"Conclusion: System diagnostic complete. The results are…disturbingly positive. This must be an internal malfunction, beautiful."

She'd watched her assault droid gun down Sand People, Sith soldiers; she'd watched him dismantle other droids after firing them into deactivation and, in a show of what would have been practically cannibalism if he was a sentient, tear them into pieces for extra parts.

But Katrina had never heard the droid give quite the same gasp of shock as he did now.

"Retraction: While I acknowledge that you possess certain physical features known to be indicators of beauty in the culture of human meatbags, the usage of such a term is contrary to my programming. I insist that you correct this auditory breakdown immediately, gorgeous-"

HK raised his mechanical hand to his mouth in horror.

She furrowed her brow for a minute, her hands on her hips.

"Celyn?"

Her daughter emerged obediently from her room, hands clasped sweetly in front of her and gazing up at Katrina with innocent brown eyes.

_Too_ innocent. Katrina noticed the spots of oil hiding underneath Celyn's fingernails and knuckles.

"Did you reprogram HK?"

Despite the Onasi eyes, Celyn's mouth curved up into a devilish smile that was most definitely Revan.

"I don't know how to make him sound like Father, but I still did a good job," she commented thoughtfully.

"I told you not to go near HK," Katrina added. The droid had ways of liberally interpreting her instructions to protect Celyn; such as locking her in closets when she started asking him questions.

"He wasn't awake," Celyn reassured her. "I was really quiet. He didn't see me-"

"Suggestion: Might I advise a full psychological examination for the child? She is obviously displaying rampant delusions of grandeur," HK broke in haughtily.

"What's delusions of grandeur?" Celyn whispered, pulling on Katrina's hand.

"Exactly what you are exhibiting if you believe I cannot hear you, diminutive meatbag spawn-"

Katrina glared at the droid, all the while trying to keep her mouth under control. The edges of her lips twitched and strained to smile.

"Celyn…maybe I don't want to know, but why did you do that?"

"For when you leave," her daughter answered.

Katrina burst out laughing.

"Celyn…" she began several times, each time unable to go on without laughing.

"Response: This is intolerable," the droid hissed. "Surely some form of discipline exists for offspring even among the Jedi. Perhaps something involving the electrical discharges most common among displeased Force users. I can also offer several alternatives from cultures throughout the galaxy. The lower castes of the Aqualish race, for example, punish youthful indiscretions by extracting their claws a few millimeters at a time-"

"Celyn, you can't do that to HK," Katrina finally managed to say.

"Why not?" her daughter said, folding her arms in front of her.

"Because you're changing his personality-"

"What's personality?"

"How he acts. HK's not a very nice droid, but that's exactly the way we like him. You wouldn't like it if someone tried to change you, would you?"

"Nobody can do that because I'm not a droid," Celyn pointed out.

"Observation: Indeed, you _are_ a fortunate little meatbag, aren't you?" HK sneered. "Of _course_ you wouldn't enjoy it if someone decided to twist open your skull with crude tools and dig out pieces of your grey matter as if they were unimportant or non-essential. You also would probably not enjoy being used as live bait for the next shipment of cannoks to Telos-"

"HK, go shut yourself down," Katrina interrupted. "I'll fix you later. And if you ever say anything like that again, I'll install the most compassionate pacifist module I can find so fast it'll make your chassis spin."

"While I have a healthy respect for your methods of persuasion," HK muttered, "I must admit that this ranks as perhaps the most cold-hearted of all."

She watched the droid clank towards the corner of the room and finally slump forward, silent.

"And I was trying to make him do something nice," her daughter added with a frown, obviously irritated that no one was appreciating all her hard work.

_People can be changed too, Celyn. Not just droids. And I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you never find out how._

"If you want something to keep me company when I leave, then make a recording and we'll put it in T3 or HK," Katrina replied, smirking. "But don't reprogram them."

"Hearing HK talk like Father…that's not comforting, Jawa. In fact, it's really disturbing," she added.

_I'll let Carth listen to it before I repair him. Then at least one person will appreciate it._

"What's disturbing-"

"Bad. It's bad. Don't do it again."


End file.
